Social Security: The Answer.

There is one simple solution to our Social Security solvency issue I think we can all embrace.We currently have too many people ON Medicare and not enough PAYING into it. The boomer’s are retiring…which leaves us only one option: A 2nd Baby Boom!! We need American’s to start sexing each other up to jump-start this economy.

But a dark clouds looms in the distance. The gays. They dont make babies, therefore, its almost impossible for them to contribute to this effort! But I think I may have figured out a solution to this problem: tax the gays!!

Now before you start emailing me hateful statements or throwing buckets of glitter on me from hanging gondolas, hear me out. When a man and woman get together, they can have babies. If two men or two women get together, they cannot. They can either use in-vitro fertilization (which is quite costly and not a viable alternative to the average person) or adopt (which is basically a human trafficking network of global baby redistribution).

The current birthrate of this country is 1.6million babies born per year. Now, The average cost of raising a child until age 18 (without factoring in college) is $222,360. That’s roughly $19,765,333,333 that is spent on children that gets injected into the economy every year. But it could be so much more!!

With almost 4.3 million Americans defining themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, thats a ton of money that is never making it into the economy that could be. Simply put, every gay couple is basically two straight couples prevented from conceiving. The gays simply aren’t making the requisite number of babies needed to help float the economy. And that’s where my new tax comes in.

With the average cost being $222,360, and assuming a 2-parent home, this is $111,180 total per parent, or $6177 per year, per parent, for 18 years. Now, if we taxed all 4.3 million that same $6177 a year they would have spent anyways on a “fresh” child, that would be an additional revenue increase of $26,561,100,000 per year.

“But what does it all mean” you ask? Well, for one: Jobs! That’s right. Should President Obama’s jobs bill be passed, the average job will cost $312,500 to create. With the over $26 billion in taxes, thats just under 85,000 jobs created per year that this tax is in effect.

Can’t argue with math folks. Unless, of course, you’re in the Tea Party

-M-

I blame the Greeks

Last week, I reported god’s anger toward us for pushing a gay/environmental/equality agenda. But I was wrong. It wasnt him, I gave him too much credit. looking down on Earth from Mt. Olympus, one thing is abundantly clear: Zeus is pissed. Aside from being the King of Gods, he is also the god of weather, the god of law and order, law and order: SVU, and the god of fate.

Working chiefly with Poseidon (god of the sea, rivers, floods, droughts, and earthquakes), these two have wreaked havoc across America. An earthquake on the east coast, devastating floods from Hurricane Irene, and historic flooding along the Mississippi River.

And now, Hephaestus (god of fire), is getting in on the fun by spreading more and more wildfires. Half the country is burning, the other half is being washed away!!

We’ve also learned that the USPS is “operating on a week’s worth of cash” according to the Postmaster General and could face shutdowns. Clearly the work of Hermes, the god of messengers, language, and writing.

And it also seems that Hera, queen of marriage, women, and childbirth, has defected to the Tea Party to help them put a stop to reproductive rights in dozens of states.

Last, but not least, who could forget Hades? King of the underworld, god of the dead, and leader of the tea party. His strangle hold seems to be iron-clad. He could not be reached for comment.

Current reports suggest that several of the other gods, primarily Aphrodite (goddess of love and beauty), Apollo (god of music, healing, and poetry), Ares (god of manly courage and civil order), and Athena (goddess of wisdom, heroic endeavor, and reason) are in hiding, strategizing on a way to overthrow these dark times. this could not be confirmed independently, however.

But being that these gods are Greek, and that the current state of Greece is, well…its pretty bad, there is one thing we can do: kick these gods to the curb and start hanging out with the Norse God’s. After all, Germany does have its shit together!! See you at Oktoberfest with Loki, Thor, and Odin!

-M-

we’re sorry god, please dont hit us again :(

so as all of you should be already aware, an earthquake hit the east coast this week. being that the east is not over any tectonic plate boundries…this is rare. in fact, it was the first quake in Virginia since 1897. Californians made fun of our reaction to the little 5.8er. i truly enjoyed the pictures of “quake damage” on the web showing tipped over water bottles and yogurt cups.

but friends, this isnt funny. its serious. god is mad at us and thats why we got quaked! at least…thats what some people are saying. They say that the east got it for our “sins.”

now, the west coast gets a ton of quakes every year. like, several dozen. they must be sinning 24 hours a day!! we should take a lesson and not be like the west! it is clear that god hates west coasters and is showing that he will do the same to us east coasters if we dont straighten up and fly right!

and lest we not forget the quake that caused the tsunami that has crippled japan. their sins must have been so great, so unimaginable, that the number of dead and missing is almost 20,000.

so ladies and gentlemen, if youre gay, a minority, a woman, an atheist, or muslim, please stop pissing god off. go to church, pray, give 10%, and find an alter boy. do whatever you can to show god we love him and pray that he doesnt hurt us again.

just be thankful he isnt drinking when he hits us…those bruises stick around for weeks…

-M-

 

 

 

 

 

 

Republicans are the joke…but its America that’s the punchline.

**please note, this commentary is meant for people with a basic understanding of human rights, ethics, and equality. so, if you are a Tea Party Republican, this isnt for you**

at this point, watching the news makes me want to blow my brains out. im sitting here, staring…because i honestly cannot put into words how i feel. ive never felt this way before…i dont know how to approach it. lets see why i feel this way:

1) GOP Sen. Mccain and GOP Sen. Grahm(sp? who cares) blast Obama and the “FAILURE OF THE UNITED STATES” for not doing MORE in Libya. ok, first…who are the rebels? do we want to support? to early to tell what their intentions are. second…if we HAD gone in, theyd be up his ass because, three, WE HAVE BEEN BOOTS DOWN FOR OVER A DECADE in iraq and afghanistan.

2) Republicans want to zero tax hikes, none. just cuts. ohh, ps…just cuts for the rich. Thats  right. the payroll tax is coming up for renewal and since Obama wants it, the GOP do not. what does the payroll tax cuts do? they save the average family about $2,200 a year in taxes…that money goes in YOUR pocket!! the catch? it only taxes the first $106,000 you make. SO if you make $35,000 a year…or $35million…its just the first $106,000 you get hit on. so who gets hurt by this tax going back up? The poor, lower classes, and middle class. Thanx GOP

3) the tea party is pure crazy. Rick Perry wrote a book 9 months ago calling social security, medicare, Medicaid, minimum wage, labor laws, and government funded education (loans, grants, scholarships, etc) as UNCONSTITUTIONAL. but now that he’s been called on it, he claims that “it is not a path forward, only a look back and is not to be construed as his views today.” wow…lots changed in 9 months, eh rick?

Bonus: Rick Perry has gone on record twice about Texas succeeding from the union. Thats who i want for president!

4) Mitt Romny. I could be here all day. to name a few:

• demolishing ONE of his homes, a $12 million dollar, 3000sq. ft. beach-front house to build an 11,000sq. ft. one because it is “not adequate for his needs”
• believes “corporations are people”
• made his fortune consolidating companies and firing thousands of workers.
• there’s more…im just blinded by disbelief right now and cant think straight.

5) WHERE ARE THE FUCKING JOBS?

6) S&P cited the downgrade of America from AAA to AA+ due to “bi-partisan brinkmanship,” and the “Republican’s use of the full faith and credit of the United States as a bargaining chip.” Thanx again republicans.

stay tuned…it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

-M-

surrounded by ignorance.

so as you all may know, there still rages a huge debate across the country about the proposed community center 2 blocks from ground zero.

wait…you mean you didnt know? you just thought it was a mosque??? well, if you are like most american’s, you probably have no fucking clue what park51 is (did you know thats what it was called? doubtful).

pay attention, this next part is important:

Park51 will grow into a world-class community center, planned to include the following facilities:

* outstanding recreation spaces and fitness facilities (swimming pool, gym, basketball court)
* a 500-seat auditorium
* a restaurant and culinary school
* cultural amenities including exhibitions
* education programs
* a library, reading room and art studios
* childcare services
* a prayer space, intended to be run separately from Park51 but open to and accessible to all members, visitors and our New York community
* a September 11th memorial and quiet contemplation space, open to all

wow! amazing! that sounds great! but wait…if we build this…then the terrorists win. and we cant have that. that would be a spit in the face to all the victims of 9/11. but, if we dont build it, then then terrorists will look at us and decry our intolerance of the islamic faith and the freedom of religious expression as a whole. and that is contrary to what our founding fathers wanted. a seemingly lose-lose situation. this is quite a predicament. what to do?

wait…

i have an idea…

HOW ABOUT WE DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE TERRORISTS THINK? hows that grab you? so simple a fucking child could understand it. this country is so damn concerned about the reactions of the terrorists. who fucking cares what they think?

the intolerance and bigotry in this country (ESPECIALLY the south…see Murfreesboro, Tennessee) is overwhelmingly disgusting.

grow up.

–M–

Brutalism. it’s not just for Architects anymore!

i know i know its been awhile since my last post. for that i apologize.

so ive decided to create my own ideology. i call it Brutalism. i landed on this name for two reasons:

1)the architectural concept of Brutalism relies heavily on the use on concrete. a parallel can be drawn to my ideals as being concrete as well as non-wavering, forever.
2)the various parts of my ideology i carry out with a “brutal” finality. (the term “brutal,” as defined by Merriam-Webster, is to be “unpleasantly accurate and incisive.”)

as for by beliefs with this ideology, there are some that are more common sense and there are some that are more of a personal preference. I attempt to live my life everyday with an unbridled sense of optimism. those who know me best know that i am brutally honest (helped to influence my name choice). I also see the world as black and white…with the details being in the grey area. if you think about it, at the basic level, everything is black and white. everything is simple. this allows me to have an unquestioning moral certainty. I also keep my emotions in check, not letting things like anger, frustration, stress, or jealousy take control of me.

as far as my religious facet of Brutalism, i define myself as a militant apathetic agnostic.
-militant: i cant prove a higher power, and neither can you.
-apathetic: if one does exist, however, he clearly is not concerned with us.
-agnostic: but i do concede that a higher power may very well exist.

To summize: to be a “Brutalist,” one must be honest, optimistic, moral, happy go lucky, and agnostic (or at least religiously open-minded).

ive been doing a Brutalist for years. you should try it sometime.

–M–