I blame the Greeks

Last week, I reported god’s anger toward us for pushing a gay/environmental/equality agenda. But I was wrong. It wasnt him, I gave him too much credit. looking down on Earth from Mt. Olympus, one thing is abundantly clear: Zeus is pissed. Aside from being the King of Gods, he is also the god of weather, the god of law and order, law and order: SVU, and the god of fate.

Working chiefly with Poseidon (god of the sea, rivers, floods, droughts, and earthquakes), these two have wreaked havoc across America. An earthquake on the east coast, devastating floods from Hurricane Irene, and historic flooding along the Mississippi River.

And now, Hephaestus (god of fire), is getting in on the fun by spreading more and more wildfires. Half the country is burning, the other half is being washed away!!

We’ve also learned that the USPS is “operating on a week’s worth of cash” according to the Postmaster General and could face shutdowns. Clearly the work of Hermes, the god of messengers, language, and writing.

And it also seems that Hera, queen of marriage, women, and childbirth, has defected to the Tea Party to help them put a stop to reproductive rights in dozens of states.

Last, but not least, who could forget Hades? King of the underworld, god of the dead, and leader of the tea party. His strangle hold seems to be iron-clad. He could not be reached for comment.

Current reports suggest that several of the other gods, primarily Aphrodite (goddess of love and beauty), Apollo (god of music, healing, and poetry), Ares (god of manly courage and civil order), and Athena (goddess of wisdom, heroic endeavor, and reason) are in hiding, strategizing on a way to overthrow these dark times. this could not be confirmed independently, however.

But being that these gods are Greek, and that the current state of Greece is, well…its pretty bad, there is one thing we can do: kick these gods to the curb and start hanging out with the Norse God’s. After all, Germany does have its shit together!! See you at Oktoberfest with Loki, Thor, and Odin!

-M-

Dumb Desicions, Vol. 1

Hindsight may be 20/20, but this seems like a no brainer. way back in the day, you got this guy jesus running around performing miracles. pretty sweet if you ask me. All across the gospels of matthew, mark, luke, and john miracles can be seen. they include: resurrections, exorcisms, walking on water, turning water into wine, healing the blind, and curing leprosy. what a guy.

now all of this do-goodery hes got going on really pisses of the romans. they decide to nail him to a bunch of wood and bleed him out. so what does jesus do? HE LETS THEM!! seriously JC, what was the thought process on that one guy? you know what i would have done? let them nail me up, and just chill there. day after day after day. im the fucking son of god! “hey pontius…i can do this all day kid.”

if he did that, it would have proven to everyone he was the son of god. it would be without question. word would travel across the world that there is a god and jesus is his son. but nope, he died. whats miraculous about that? now a days we have countries fighting other countries in the name of religion, people murdering other people because “god told them to.” on top of that, there are unspeakable crimes committed every second of every day (like all the catholic priests raping little boys…GO RELIGION!).

yea, good thing he died for our sins instead of sticking around. its working out great.

–M–

…and back into the light.

deaths embrace. finally upon me. its warm…like a blanket. my eyes are closed, yet still the brightness overwhelms me. i struggle to open them, and when i do im in a clearing in the middle of a forest. a slight breeze hits me, carrying with it the wonderful aroma of pine and flowers. above, the clouds roll along, forever chasing a destination they can never reach. i feel something…something inside. happiness? i cant remember, its been so long. where am i? who am i? i feel so, so alive!!!

i find a trail heading into the woods and decide to follow it. it weaves in and out of the trees like a meandering river struggling to find its way. the trees are covered in soft, wet moss. the smell is invigorating. high in the trees i can hear birds chirping, and much closer small animals, that i can only assume may be rabbits or squirrels, scurry threw the underbrush at my approach. somewhere in the distance i can hear rushing water.

as i follow this path, i happen upon a cave. it goes so deep, its nothing but a black whole seemingly floating in the side of a granite outcropping. at the base of the opening is a small pile of stones, purposeful in there placement. dare i enter? this place is so beautiful…much more so then the darkness i awoke from. but curiosity gets the best of me, and i head inside…

IM AWAKE!?! but where am i? im in my bed…at home. but, how? how did i get here? was it a dream? how can i go back. was it the cave? that feeling…the feeling of happiness is gone once more. its still back there, in that beautiful forest. i went into the darkness and back into the light, but now im here. the gray area of this world. i dont know whats worse, not being alive…or not being dead. perhaps someday i will get to visit that forest once more…

–M–

ps. justacutebostongirl1212, when you lose your fear, let me know.

into the darkness…

In the end, i oft wonder (dare i say hope) that when i die i am sent to another plane of existence. A place where the righteous battle the damned in a struggle that has lasted so long that no one knows way the fight. Yet they fight on in a war where no side is right but both sides are wrong.

In this new land, i will bow to no one and fight under my own flag. There will be others like me and together, we will band together. As we travel across this land, those we encounter will be killed if they force us to bend to their ways. For what is worse, a fallen angel…or a demon with a conscience?

Time and again, we will come to expect death. Time and again…we will escape it. And when the sweet embrace finally takes us, pulling us into a warmth that would make anyone want to sleep forever, we are sent to the next plane. And we learn something…

…you never truly live…until you die.

–M–

i’m a christian because im American? i’m all set with that.

Its amusing to think about the simple fact that religion is severely influenced by where you are born. For instance:
-North and South America, Europe, and Australia are christian.
-The southern half of Africa is a mix of christianity and tribal religions.
-The northern half of Africa and the Middle East are primarily Islamic.
-India is Hindu.
-China is a split between Buddhism and “chinese religions.”
-Russia, Greenland, and northern Canada are a split between tribal religions and the non-religious.

Back to the part about this being amusing to me. people live and die by their religion…kill others in the name of religion. yet this religion is almost wholly determined by where you are born. Its like a sports team…people, as a whole, root for the sports team in the city they grew up in. They are also rabid about their teams. This is especially true for football and soccer. It’s madness!!!

we are lucky to live in a country that doesn’t kill or imprison us for not worshiping the correct god (or the wrong team). if that were the case, then to the arctic circle I go!

–M–

Nightmare Scenario. Will you be a Survivor or a Statistic?

As much as people dont want to admit it, i think deep down everyone is hoping for a nightmare scenario to break them from this never-ending loop of the mundane that we call life. The way i see it is there are 4 possible scenarios, each with there own subset of outcomes.

1)”Zombies”
I think that a quote unquote zombie attack is possible a la “28 Days Later,” “I Am Legend,” and “Resident Evil” where some virus is created and infects the living…thus zombiefying them. I think an actual attack of the undead coming back to life is unreasonable.

This would lead to a massive breakdown in governments worldwide as they would not be able to efficiently contain both the zombies and panicked citizens. This would result in scattered fortified outposts and well as pockets of survivors. Now its time to suit and go on a killing spree until you can find the military.

2)Aliens
“Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying” -Arthur C. Clarke.

Assuming we arent, and they come, and they are angry…it could play out like “Independence Day” or “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” Either way, major cities would be destroyed leaving (again) scattered military units and scattered pockets of survivors. However this time, its about hiding and evading instead of killing.

3)We are all in the Matrix.
simply put…id think it’d be fun if this was true. ive always wanted to stop bullets…and not with my body

4)Nuclear War
Probably the most likely scenario. In this event, major cities would be wiped off the map, countries would vanish, millions would be killed instantly, and millions more would die from the fallout. This would lead to a life not unlike “Fallout 3.” I wouldnt mind that at all. Military resistance, attempts at new world orders, and pockets of survivors as well as pockets of bandits. makes for a fun time had by all.

BONUS! something else that cant be qualified above, such as “Children of Men” where women can no longer get pregnant or “Terminator” where the future continues to send back people and alter everything.

**We must also acknowledge the possibility of being hit by a celestial body or by the ravaging effects of accelerated global warming. in both scenarios, the entire world is affected and i dont believe much would change in the way of ordered governmental structure. i could be wrong.**

All i know is when the shit hits the fan, im going to be locked, cocked, and ready to go. the sooner the better.

–M–

Heaven. As boring as it sounds.

From what we can gather through scripture…heaven is a place where there is no suffering, no pain, no war. a place where nothing bad happens to anyone ever. a place of pure joy, ecstasy, and happiness.

Sounds pretty boring to me.

If you ask me, id rather come back to earth and enjoy all that is this majestic blue orb. You’re talking to a guy who used to work a supermax prison unit in Texas and for the Department of Defense guarding a nuclear submarine base. A guy who wants to be a cop, more specifically SWAT, so he can run into buildings full of people who want him dead. That sounds a hell of a lot more fun to me. thats my happiness, thats my zen.

You can all go to heaven…im staying right here.

–M–

 

The man in the mirror

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

Hmm, a thought occurred. If god created us in his image…shouldnt we all be pure and perfect beings? We shouldnt be killing, murdering, raping, stealing, assaulting, molesting, grand theft autoing, and warring with each other!!!

Point: But mike, god created adam and eve in his own image and they ate the apple and thus created original sin so its their fault!

Counterpoint: well then, good sirs, if god created only adam and eve in his image, then shouldnt THEY have been pure and perfect, thus immune to the effects of trickery? I mean…unless god is weak, theyd have to be immune!

Conclusion? maybe god isnt as infallible as he’s made out to be.

–M–

Im Agnostic (and you are too!)

What you are about to read is very VERY important…it could very well mean the end of all the horrific and nightmarish acts and atrocities people commit toward each other “in the name of religion!” As it turns out…we are all Agnostic! Isn’t that wonderful news! Now that we are all the same, we have no need to rape and kill each other for being different!

Now I know that this transition is going to take time, that it won’t be accomplished overnight. But it is a very simple conversion to make. All you have to do is understand why you dismiss all other religions as false, then you will understand why yours is dismissed for the same reason. Then the understanding that we all “believe” will be realized and you will recognize that its not who or what you believe, but that belief exists.

–M–

 

Open Your Eyes

Recently I asked several friends a question and was intrigued by the spectrum of answers. So now I ask you.

The Question: If this entire world we knew was a dream inside of another dream…where 1 second there is 1 million years here…and you became lucid and realized that these dreams were your own, would you want to wake up?

–M–

ps. I would definitely wake up. I would not be able to handle the thought of not knowing. How often do you get a chance to go backward through the looking glass?