This is only the beginning…

As we enter Day 8 of #OccupyWallStreet, it is amazing to see the continued ignorance of the American people and the continued media blackout. We are standing up for the rights of every man, woman, and child. Our PEACEFUL protests have been met with POLICE BRUTALITY.

Many of you wonder what we are or are not about…its not as simple as that, but I will try to break it down into as simple terms as possible:

We are NOT protesting corporations.

We are NOT protesting their products.

We are NOT protesting capitalism.

We are NOT protesting democracy.

What we ARE protesting is corporate greed. and the fact the corporations can buy politicians and influence government. We are protesting the socialization of loss and the privatization of profit. We are protesting an unbalanced tax code that favors the rich and corporations while breaking the backs of the common American. We are protesting the banks who used predatory tactics on homeowners to make themselves more money. We are protesting Wall Street for impoverishing over 50 MILLION AMERICANS THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN. We are protesting the broken electoral system in this country. We are protesting corporate person-hood. We are protesting inequality.

The hypocrisy in this country is overwhelming. Our media covered the riots, rebellions, and revolutions in Egypt, Libya, Syria, France, and England (to name a few) with zeal and vigor. But when it comes back to our shores, we get marginalized. We get ridiculed. And worst of all…we get CENSORED!

CONFIRMED: Yahoo admits to censoring emails about #OccupyWallStreet.
CONFIRMED: Twitter blocks trending of #OccupyWallStreet, despite over 1000 tweets per second, worldwide.
CONFIRMED: Youtube suppresses view counts of NYPD brutality against PEACEFUL protesters to prevent them from going viral.

Occupations are growing, both around the country and around the world. Find yours and let your voice be heard…that you are no longer willing to allow YOUR future to be sold out from under you in the interests of corporate profits.

All I ask of anyone who reads this is to pass it on and stay informed (if you are able to occupy, that would be truly wonderful). Tell your friends, family, and neighbors. Email this, retweet it, Facebook it, put it on LinkedIn, stumbleupon, digg, etc. We need to SPREAD. THE. WORD.

Stay tuned…the world is watching…

Watch the Global Revolution LIVE

Official Occupy Wall Street Site

Sign the White House Petition

Follow the Occupation on Twitter

-M-

Social Security: The Answer.

There is one simple solution to our Social Security solvency issue I think we can all embrace.We currently have too many people ON Medicare and not enough PAYING into it. The boomer’s are retiring…which leaves us only one option: A 2nd Baby Boom!! We need American’s to start sexing each other up to jump-start this economy.

But a dark clouds looms in the distance. The gays. They dont make babies, therefore, its almost impossible for them to contribute to this effort! But I think I may have figured out a solution to this problem: tax the gays!!

Now before you start emailing me hateful statements or throwing buckets of glitter on me from hanging gondolas, hear me out. When a man and woman get together, they can have babies. If two men or two women get together, they cannot. They can either use in-vitro fertilization (which is quite costly and not a viable alternative to the average person) or adopt (which is basically a human trafficking network of global baby redistribution).

The current birthrate of this country is 1.6million babies born per year. Now, The average cost of raising a child until age 18 (without factoring in college) is $222,360. That’s roughly $19,765,333,333 that is spent on children that gets injected into the economy every year. But it could be so much more!!

With almost 4.3 million Americans defining themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, thats a ton of money that is never making it into the economy that could be. Simply put, every gay couple is basically two straight couples prevented from conceiving. The gays simply aren’t making the requisite number of babies needed to help float the economy. And that’s where my new tax comes in.

With the average cost being $222,360, and assuming a 2-parent home, this is $111,180 total per parent, or $6177 per year, per parent, for 18 years. Now, if we taxed all 4.3 million that same $6177 a year they would have spent anyways on a “fresh” child, that would be an additional revenue increase of $26,561,100,000 per year.

“But what does it all mean” you ask? Well, for one: Jobs! That’s right. Should President Obama’s jobs bill be passed, the average job will cost $312,500 to create. With the over $26 billion in taxes, thats just under 85,000 jobs created per year that this tax is in effect.

Can’t argue with math folks. Unless, of course, you’re in the Tea Party

-M-

Fantasy Football: A New Hope

Footballs back!! And other than another excuse to drink, cookout, swear, and block off huge amounts of time on Sunday’s, Monday’s, Thursday’s (and eventually Saturday’s), there is one thing I look forward to most: Fantasy Football!!

That’s right friends. For those who play…you already know ;) But for those who do not, it’s actually pretty fun!! And in an attempt to get more people in on the fun (and thus build $$$ from ad revenues), the NFL is now REQUIRING, as of this season, fantasy stats to be displayed at all stadiums in real-time. awesome.

And what is my team name this year, you ask? I’ve gone with “The Show” after a dismal performance last year as “Team Badass.” How embarrassing #blush!

However…I’ve decided this year to take it one. step. further.

I’ve decided to create a new genre of games AND sports…to bridge the gap between jocks and nerds. I’ts final fantasy meets fantasy football!!! I call it “Final Fantasy Football: Touchdown of Time!” I’ve already drafted Sephiroth and Cloud with the Pittsburgh D and Lance Moore in the slot…gonna fucking wreck. I mean seriously, with Cloud’s Buster sword carving up the secondary while Moore dances his way across the field I can’t lose!

Plus with this stupid kickoff rule causing a cascade of touch-backs, and Sephiroth taking snaps, “The Show” is going to march down the field with ease every time. I just need to make sure Sephy and Cloud get along and don’t play “my swords sharper than yours is” on the field. That’s a twenty-yard penalty.

-M-

I blame the Greeks

Last week, I reported god’s anger toward us for pushing a gay/environmental/equality agenda. But I was wrong. It wasnt him, I gave him too much credit. looking down on Earth from Mt. Olympus, one thing is abundantly clear: Zeus is pissed. Aside from being the King of Gods, he is also the god of weather, the god of law and order, law and order: SVU, and the god of fate.

Working chiefly with Poseidon (god of the sea, rivers, floods, droughts, and earthquakes), these two have wreaked havoc across America. An earthquake on the east coast, devastating floods from Hurricane Irene, and historic flooding along the Mississippi River.

And now, Hephaestus (god of fire), is getting in on the fun by spreading more and more wildfires. Half the country is burning, the other half is being washed away!!

We’ve also learned that the USPS is “operating on a week’s worth of cash” according to the Postmaster General and could face shutdowns. Clearly the work of Hermes, the god of messengers, language, and writing.

And it also seems that Hera, queen of marriage, women, and childbirth, has defected to the Tea Party to help them put a stop to reproductive rights in dozens of states.

Last, but not least, who could forget Hades? King of the underworld, god of the dead, and leader of the tea party. His strangle hold seems to be iron-clad. He could not be reached for comment.

Current reports suggest that several of the other gods, primarily Aphrodite (goddess of love and beauty), Apollo (god of music, healing, and poetry), Ares (god of manly courage and civil order), and Athena (goddess of wisdom, heroic endeavor, and reason) are in hiding, strategizing on a way to overthrow these dark times. this could not be confirmed independently, however.

But being that these gods are Greek, and that the current state of Greece is, well…its pretty bad, there is one thing we can do: kick these gods to the curb and start hanging out with the Norse God’s. After all, Germany does have its shit together!! See you at Oktoberfest with Loki, Thor, and Odin!

-M-