Thanx for the jobs, Nature!!

good news friends, JOBS ARE HERE!!

thats right, Mother Earth has stepped up for us and did something that our politicians, god, or clean energy could not do…PROVIDE JOBS!!

Last week we saw an unprecedented earthquake hit the east coast. a few days later, hurricane Irene rocked the eastern seaboard from North Carolina up into Canada. It is clear that our Earth Mother is trying to help us out…trying to get us back on track!!

these disasters have left over 65 million people affected, canceled over 9000 flights, killed over 20 people, affected more than a dozen states, has left millions without power, and damage estimates are over $7 billion. (and thats not to mention the west coast wildfires, Mississippi river floodings, horrific mid-west tornadoes, or historic droughts in the south (costing the US over $32billion in damage)).

and who’s going to fix it all? WE ARE!! cant ship jobs like these oversees, republicans!

Nature is trying to send us a message, that she is here to help us, not hurt us! and this is the only way she can communicate with us!! think of all the jobs!! all the money poured into overtime for the utility crews working around the clock. over $7 billion will be spent to repair the widespread damage, making everything stronger, newer, better. the eartquake showed that almost all of our nuclear reactors are on the east coast…and woefully falling apart. that will cost billions and take the better part of a decade to fix. our highways systems disintegration was also illuminated by the quake, which will also cost billions to repair and years to accomplish.

jobs! jobs! jobs! politicians couldnt do it…they are too busy screwing America up. God couldnt do it because he is a character in a book. But nature steps in, and BOOM…jobs.

I, for one, am quite excited. All this time we thought Nature was pissed because of this whole “nurture” thing, or because humans still choose to ignore global warming. turns out, she was just trying to help this whole time. thanks mom :)

-M-

we’re sorry god, please dont hit us again :(

so as all of you should be already aware, an earthquake hit the east coast this week. being that the east is not over any tectonic plate boundries…this is rare. in fact, it was the first quake in Virginia since 1897. Californians made fun of our reaction to the little 5.8er. i truly enjoyed the pictures of “quake damage” on the web showing tipped over water bottles and yogurt cups.

but friends, this isnt funny. its serious. god is mad at us and thats why we got quaked! at least…thats what some people are saying. They say that the east got it for our “sins.”

now, the west coast gets a ton of quakes every year. like, several dozen. they must be sinning 24 hours a day!! we should take a lesson and not be like the west! it is clear that god hates west coasters and is showing that he will do the same to us east coasters if we dont straighten up and fly right!

and lest we not forget the quake that caused the tsunami that has crippled japan. their sins must have been so great, so unimaginable, that the number of dead and missing is almost 20,000.

so ladies and gentlemen, if youre gay, a minority, a woman, an atheist, or muslim, please stop pissing god off. go to church, pray, give 10%, and find an alter boy. do whatever you can to show god we love him and pray that he doesnt hurt us again.

just be thankful he isnt drinking when he hits us…those bruises stick around for weeks…

-M-

 

 

 

 

 

 

Republicans are the joke…but its America that’s the punchline.

**please note, this commentary is meant for people with a basic understanding of human rights, ethics, and equality. so, if you are a Tea Party Republican, this isnt for you**

at this point, watching the news makes me want to blow my brains out. im sitting here, staring…because i honestly cannot put into words how i feel. ive never felt this way before…i dont know how to approach it. lets see why i feel this way:

1) GOP Sen. Mccain and GOP Sen. Grahm(sp? who cares) blast Obama and the “FAILURE OF THE UNITED STATES” for not doing MORE in Libya. ok, first…who are the rebels? do we want to support? to early to tell what their intentions are. second…if we HAD gone in, theyd be up his ass because, three, WE HAVE BEEN BOOTS DOWN FOR OVER A DECADE in iraq and afghanistan.

2) Republicans want to zero tax hikes, none. just cuts. ohh, ps…just cuts for the rich. Thats  right. the payroll tax is coming up for renewal and since Obama wants it, the GOP do not. what does the payroll tax cuts do? they save the average family about $2,200 a year in taxes…that money goes in YOUR pocket!! the catch? it only taxes the first $106,000 you make. SO if you make $35,000 a year…or $35million…its just the first $106,000 you get hit on. so who gets hurt by this tax going back up? The poor, lower classes, and middle class. Thanx GOP

3) the tea party is pure crazy. Rick Perry wrote a book 9 months ago calling social security, medicare, Medicaid, minimum wage, labor laws, and government funded education (loans, grants, scholarships, etc) as UNCONSTITUTIONAL. but now that he’s been called on it, he claims that “it is not a path forward, only a look back and is not to be construed as his views today.” wow…lots changed in 9 months, eh rick?

Bonus: Rick Perry has gone on record twice about Texas succeeding from the union. Thats who i want for president!

4) Mitt Romny. I could be here all day. to name a few:

• demolishing ONE of his homes, a $12 million dollar, 3000sq. ft. beach-front house to build an 11,000sq. ft. one because it is “not adequate for his needs”
• believes “corporations are people”
• made his fortune consolidating companies and firing thousands of workers.
• there’s more…im just blinded by disbelief right now and cant think straight.

5) WHERE ARE THE FUCKING JOBS?

6) S&P cited the downgrade of America from AAA to AA+ due to “bi-partisan brinkmanship,” and the “Republican’s use of the full faith and credit of the United States as a bargaining chip.” Thanx again republicans.

stay tuned…it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

-M-